Easy, 2014

One of the things that most of us do on a new year is set specific goals, be it in the form of resolutions or plans. We set our destinations and day after day, our driving skills are determined: we either drive too slow that we don't see reaching our Point B in time, or we drive fast that we need a Point C or D.

This year, that I dubbed as #Travel2014 and #Fitness2014 (quite self-explanatory), I want to prove something to myself. By the travel, I want to test my ability to save money and plan successfully. By fitness, I aim to attract (as if hahaha) or just make other people feel something new about me. If I were skeptic, I'd think two goals are too much at a time. However, I am ambitious. I like living a big life. It's not that I'm climbing social ladders or I'm being materialistic. I'm trying to live life as if there's no tomorrow. Like I said in a post, I usually do things as though they are smaller units of a bigger surprise. This way, I still manage to enjoy without holding up too much. The end point will be just as satisfying.

#Fitness2014
I wanna run. I wanna hike. I wanna frisbee. I wanna gym. I wanna lose my baby tummy fats! I wanna swim, I wanna skate, I wanna punch, I wanna climb. A checklist should be appropriate for this one, shouldn't it be? I just wanna stay in shape or gain mass or muscle preferably both. I just hate that heavy feeling you get every waking morning just because you lack some stretching and exercise. Life is so short, the food we eat are so unhealthy. I need to find a way to balance them all in my system, and fitness is the only (cheapest) way I know.

#Travel2014
In me is a wanderlust, the kind that moves across borders. Yes, it sounds expensive but heck! I need to mobilize for my sanity's sake. Hearing the stories ends, seeing the stories starts. My heart is pulling my will to one specific goal, the Trans-Mongolian. Every little detail must not be missed. Turning the night into day might work for this goal and I hope to carry it out (please, Father). Call it a dream because it is. But this dream is one I'll surely see wide awake.

#Easy2014
Key to most goals is planning. Planning is essential: failing to plan is planning to fail. How do you do this, or that? How do you manage your time?

Somewhere, I read that keeping it low and easy is another key. When you don't stress yourself too much about it, things will naturally take its flow to the direction you want. If you push too much, it will spill to other destinations that are not meant for it. Not only does it waste your resources, it will also ruin your cool to put too much stress. Stress will be good as a reminder, but leave it at that. If you got faith and works, everything will follow.

So that's it. No resolutions this year. I think most of the resolutions that I kept on posting for the past years have already been addressed if not fully, somehow. This year, I want to enjoy much of life as I can. I'm aging, and I want to stay focused while doing more. Because when I do more, I win the game, and winning the game is just as important as the way you played to win it.

Keep the good vibes rolling! Be blessed by His word.

Magi Gifts Series: Frankincense

Frankincense is an offering in the form of perfume which was used for worship in temples.

The incense symbolized holiness. In the olden days, it was used by priests before performing specific church activities. Applying incense highlighted the sacredness of the act before it is done.

As Jesus received the incense, the magus who gave this was clear that the baby is a priest in the making. For specific reasons right after following the star, it might not be just any priest but a priest who was above all, a preacher who would carry on with the unaldulterated word of God, teaching the things that no one else preached, and the mysteries that were not yet revealed to the people.

Jesus had many followers at first, when he healed the wounded, fed the thousands, cast demons and brought the dead back to life. After he preached the truth, his coming, people started to move away from him until there were only 12 followers left.

The gift was vindication of the future works of Jesus, that everything he did was an incense to the Father. Yes, even if he did not have the most believers. Remember, many were called, but a few were chosen.

Magi Gifts Series: Gold

I would like to enlighten some people about the spiritual connotations of the gifts of the wise men to our Lord the day he was born. Though it was not stated in the Bible who the wise men were (nor how many they were), the number of gifts given to the newborn baby was enough to judge that there were three.

Further readings will tell us some speculations about where the magi came from, but what we want to know now is more of the gifts and the symbolisms that they represent.

Gold

Gold is the most precious metal known to men by that time. Therefore, for a person to receive gold, he must be a royal of sort to deserve it.

Gold represents Jesus' deity. The wise man knew that the baby was a king. They probably studied it in their ancient scrolls or by fate, from the writings of the Old Testament which might have reached the East.

The gold was a representation of the power that Jesus held in his hands. He is, after all, the king of kings and the lord of lords. He was as precious as the gold that was given to him. He had the authority to all the believers at the time, but it was still a potential until he reached the age of 12.

Some people say that this gift was used by both Mary and Joseph to travel as far from king Herod. They never had any resource to fend for themselves right after fleeing their comfort zones, so it was a logical answer to where the gold went.

Happy Holidays!

Subconcious Affairs 1

The train leaves at nine.

The old friend helps me get my things on board. We've been doing this for a long time now. He sees me go, then I get back the next year. I don't treat the people I hire in a lower state. I call them friends.

For the past ten years of my life, I board that very same train at the very same time to go to my rest house. I had it made for me and with the help of an old friend, the house is kept pristine whenever I get to it.

When I was younger, I used to invest in a lot of risky involvements but I was always lucky.. I dunno. I always win more money than anyone expects. I got rich easily. However, due to some unfornate turn of events, members of my family passed. It's as if with every fortune that I make, I lose a more important one.

It sucks to feel that burden in your heart, even if other people console me, trying to make me feel better. None of them makes me feel better. I hate myself for gaining much than I could handle. I hate myself just because of my mere existence. I hate myself for everything.

I got more time than anyone in the world. My clock starts at 0000 and ends at 2500. People say I'm lucky, but everytime I board that train, I always feel the emptiness. A hollow space in my faintly thudding heart seems to mask my whole existence. Everytime I get off that platform, I wish they were just on the other side, waiting for me.

But no one is there. There will be not a soul.

"Buddy, you need to go. The train leaves at nine."

Wedges of Time

Hey buddy. Walked out on you for a while. Writing may have been 'therapeutic' for me but some stresses often hold me back from reaching that keyboard.

Anyways.

After my birthday, the family went on to the scheduled Boracay trip. It was a first of sorts: first plane ride, first getaway to that island, first travel that more than half I paid for (it sure hurt a lot) and my first time outside Luzon in 12 years. Yeah, it was that long. It was also memorable.

Sure, four days of leave from work would mean piles of to-dos. My body never left vacation though.. I tried my best to be at my best work mode but holidays a week after and the inclement weather were not cooperative. Actually, it took me a month to recover from my laidback attitude.

My absences ballooned and my tardiness followed. I was so thankful for having a boss who was just content with a reason for formality's sake. I mean I can't really just file that leave and put laziness in the reason. He never questioned my shortcomings where I'm beginning to think, he doesn't really care about me. Oh, fine by me. I could leave the company without worrying about his attrition and all that corporate shmuck.

So.. what's the deal anyway, Josh?

Hmm. I wouldn't like to say that it is the same old because it ain't. I'm so into my phone that I almost leave my social life past me and dig into my unlimited 4G connection. However, my workmate Sham introduced me to the Number Four series and until now I'm stuck in the second book that he lent me because of guess what? Yeah, you're probably right.

I know my answer was more than insubstantial so I'll explain further.

Lately I've been feeling like I'm going into my old ways of introversion. Trying to keep myself in the shadows, making less attention than usual. I feel that it is because there are several insecurities which still lie around the corner. Perhaps that very first is my communication with my friends. Most of the time, I don't communicate with them. It's either I need something from them or it is a special event that I feel the need to talk to them. Maybe because I just feel that eventually we'll run out of things to discuss that we'd end up silently with anyone of us not replying further. Then it becomes a vicious cycle. That is my lack of being-the-interesting-kind kind of guy.

To complement with that is the fact that I'm still single. I'm starting to think that courting may have outgrown me but it seems that my standards are really higher than high. I have crushes, yes, but all of them are sort of celebrities. Which sucks. Will I ever lay my eyes on a normal person again? Dunno. So maybe I'll still be single for a longer time.

Third, I want to resurface months later, reborn. That kind when you see your old friends, you'd hear nothing but "parang hindi na ikaw!" in a positive skew of course.

Or. I just want to be alone. Feel the structuring of the earth unfold in front of me. Watch the mysteries of life unfurl like depth of field widening from a shallow beginning.

Well maybe that's it. Everything is starting to bore me. My life, my work, my environment. I seriously need a hobby. Or a social group. Or an initiation? That's scary lol.

I'll think about it. I'll straighten my crooked thinking. I've wasted too much time already. I need to feel alive again.