Magi Gifts Series: Frankincense

Frankincense is an offering in the form of perfume which was used for worship in temples.

The incense symbolized holiness. In the olden days, it was used by priests before performing specific church activities. Applying incense highlighted the sacredness of the act before it is done.

As Jesus received the incense, the magus who gave this was clear that the baby is a priest in the making. For specific reasons right after following the star, it might not be just any priest but a priest who was above all, a preacher who would carry on with the unaldulterated word of God, teaching the things that no one else preached, and the mysteries that were not yet revealed to the people.

Jesus had many followers at first, when he healed the wounded, fed the thousands, cast demons and brought the dead back to life. After he preached the truth, his coming, people started to move away from him until there were only 12 followers left.

The gift was vindication of the future works of Jesus, that everything he did was an incense to the Father. Yes, even if he did not have the most believers. Remember, many were called, but a few were chosen.

Magi Gifts Series: Gold

I would like to enlighten some people about the spiritual connotations of the gifts of the wise men to our Lord the day he was born. Though it was not stated in the Bible who the wise men were (nor how many they were), the number of gifts given to the newborn baby was enough to judge that there were three.

Further readings will tell us some speculations about where the magi came from, but what we want to know now is more of the gifts and the symbolisms that they represent.

Gold

Gold is the most precious metal known to men by that time. Therefore, for a person to receive gold, he must be a royal of sort to deserve it.

Gold represents Jesus' deity. The wise man knew that the baby was a king. They probably studied it in their ancient scrolls or by fate, from the writings of the Old Testament which might have reached the East.

The gold was a representation of the power that Jesus held in his hands. He is, after all, the king of kings and the lord of lords. He was as precious as the gold that was given to him. He had the authority to all the believers at the time, but it was still a potential until he reached the age of 12.

Some people say that this gift was used by both Mary and Joseph to travel as far from king Herod. They never had any resource to fend for themselves right after fleeing their comfort zones, so it was a logical answer to where the gold went.

Happy Holidays!

Subconcious Affairs 1

The train leaves at nine.

The old friend helps me get my things on board. We've been doing this for a long time now. He sees me go, then I get back the next year. I don't treat the people I hire in a lower state. I call them friends.

For the past ten years of my life, I board that very same train at the very same time to go to my rest house. I had it made for me and with the help of an old friend, the house is kept pristine whenever I get to it.

When I was younger, I used to invest in a lot of risky involvements but I was always lucky.. I dunno. I always win more money than anyone expects. I got rich easily. However, due to some unfornate turn of events, members of my family passed. It's as if with every fortune that I make, I lose a more important one.

It sucks to feel that burden in your heart, even if other people console me, trying to make me feel better. None of them makes me feel better. I hate myself for gaining much than I could handle. I hate myself just because of my mere existence. I hate myself for everything.

I got more time than anyone in the world. My clock starts at 0000 and ends at 2500. People say I'm lucky, but everytime I board that train, I always feel the emptiness. A hollow space in my faintly thudding heart seems to mask my whole existence. Everytime I get off that platform, I wish they were just on the other side, waiting for me.

But no one is there. There will be not a soul.

"Buddy, you need to go. The train leaves at nine."

Wedges of Time

Hey buddy. Walked out on you for a while. Writing may have been 'therapeutic' for me but some stresses often hold me back from reaching that keyboard.

Anyways.

After my birthday, the family went on to the scheduled Boracay trip. It was a first of sorts: first plane ride, first getaway to that island, first travel that more than half I paid for (it sure hurt a lot) and my first time outside Luzon in 12 years. Yeah, it was that long. It was also memorable.

Sure, four days of leave from work would mean piles of to-dos. My body never left vacation though.. I tried my best to be at my best work mode but holidays a week after and the inclement weather were not cooperative. Actually, it took me a month to recover from my laidback attitude.

My absences ballooned and my tardiness followed. I was so thankful for having a boss who was just content with a reason for formality's sake. I mean I can't really just file that leave and put laziness in the reason. He never questioned my shortcomings where I'm beginning to think, he doesn't really care about me. Oh, fine by me. I could leave the company without worrying about his attrition and all that corporate shmuck.

So.. what's the deal anyway, Josh?

Hmm. I wouldn't like to say that it is the same old because it ain't. I'm so into my phone that I almost leave my social life past me and dig into my unlimited 4G connection. However, my workmate Sham introduced me to the Number Four series and until now I'm stuck in the second book that he lent me because of guess what? Yeah, you're probably right.

I know my answer was more than insubstantial so I'll explain further.

Lately I've been feeling like I'm going into my old ways of introversion. Trying to keep myself in the shadows, making less attention than usual. I feel that it is because there are several insecurities which still lie around the corner. Perhaps that very first is my communication with my friends. Most of the time, I don't communicate with them. It's either I need something from them or it is a special event that I feel the need to talk to them. Maybe because I just feel that eventually we'll run out of things to discuss that we'd end up silently with anyone of us not replying further. Then it becomes a vicious cycle. That is my lack of being-the-interesting-kind kind of guy.

To complement with that is the fact that I'm still single. I'm starting to think that courting may have outgrown me but it seems that my standards are really higher than high. I have crushes, yes, but all of them are sort of celebrities. Which sucks. Will I ever lay my eyes on a normal person again? Dunno. So maybe I'll still be single for a longer time.

Third, I want to resurface months later, reborn. That kind when you see your old friends, you'd hear nothing but "parang hindi na ikaw!" in a positive skew of course.

Or. I just want to be alone. Feel the structuring of the earth unfold in front of me. Watch the mysteries of life unfurl like depth of field widening from a shallow beginning.

Well maybe that's it. Everything is starting to bore me. My life, my work, my environment. I seriously need a hobby. Or a social group. Or an initiation? That's scary lol.

I'll think about it. I'll straighten my crooked thinking. I've wasted too much time already. I need to feel alive again.

I'm Transitioning

In a few, I'll hit 24. Exactly this day a year ago, the Metro was devastated by heavy rains absent a typhoon. Almost everyone was more than flood swept. Luckily, our family survived those testing times. I felt very blessed that day.

Now that I'm turning 24, I'd like to think that the same blessing is with me. But I'm making things sure. I'm planning the things that are ahead of me. I'm beginning to become socially relevant, a thing that I've been of less concern over the past years.

I start drawing virtual maps of my connections and where these connections will bring me. Investments feel like they're becoming a vital part of my future endeavors. The feeling of having a savings account is always a relief more than a budget-eating portion. My life for the next six years already has allotments: There is no room for unplanned events or unmanaged risks.

Speaking of risks, I think this is the perfect time for me to take risks. Risk is inevitable. That's the reason why we had a subject back in college called Risk Management. I think there are only two kinds of risks -- the one you can handle and the one you can't. Let us say that since I've prepared for this season of my life years ago, the risks that will challenge me are only those that I feel I can handle. I just have a good feeling about it.

Spiritually speaking, people in the church, in these scientist pools, environmentalists, they say this is the end time. Somehow, this has affected my plans. Instead of focusing on my long term plans, I start breaking down things into priority. I guess maturity also plays a role here. This time, I have to focus on what's near me, what's gonna make or break me. This essentially breaks down my plans into small units but planning them to be additive to one another makes it appear to be a bigger achievement over time. Again, it all boils down to planning.

Just thinking of my plans gets me excited. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way. Some people are afraid of the future. But I guess only people who haven't prepared for it are the real subjects of failure. I'd like to think I'm not one of them. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

Perhaps one of the things that I'm looking forward to is the incarnation of my plans to life. I can sense my future laurels, yet I try not to be overcome by confidence. I can't wait, while they say patience is a virtue.

Modesty aside, I feel proud of myself. For the past year I've done things in my life, but none of them I regret. I made tough decisions not only for me, my job and family, but also for other people I care about. Seeing these decisions pay off makes me feel vindicated, gratified.

Now, looking at how long I've written, I can't help but feel that, I'm becoming a different person. Or maybe, I've evolved to someone that I always thought I'd not become. I was a happy-go-lucky type of student in college. That's one of the reasons why planning, for me, is a great feat, a great deal. It is an indicator of my readiness to face whatever lies ahead.

This version of me is shaped by my experiences, bad and good alike. It took twenty-four years in the brewing. I'm changing. I'm transitioning... into a vampire responsible individual.

What's your job?

Many times, people ask me, what's your job? I answer, I'm an electronics engineer. When they probe further, I say I'm a Design Verification Engineer in a Japanese semiconductor company.

The moment I end my sentence is the same moment they realize that they shouldn't have asked. They will look astonished, none any less than bewildered.

I will start explaining it here in detail; Unlike in real conversations, I keep it a short description to engage them. If they are interested enough, they will ask questions and I will feed smaller information yet just as crucial for their understanding.

Primarily, my work is to test chips (Integrated Circuits, ICs). These chips could either be on its development stage, improved versions of previous developments, or final packages which would be sold to the clients/market. We test chips with different technologies: motor drivers, LED/LCD drivers, reset ICs, power management ICs, linear/switching regulators, among others.

There are several ways to test a chip, and we do it manually. When I say manually, we have a test board with the chip mounted on it, and we connect supply voltages or currents through wires from the equipment. We have a laboratory where there are loads of different kinds of instruments, and a thermostreamer which could emit air from -80°C up to 220°C. Another way of testing is with the use of machinery. This ain't our job.

Since we do things manually, it is expected that as engineers, we will be able to measure the expected results from different parameters. These parameters could be as simple as output voltage or as bizzare as output noise. We need to know which instrument will be used for which. We also need to perform a simple debug if the indications from our Japanese clients will not give any result.

Indications are the procedures for obtaining the correct and expected result for a parameter. A wrong indication is the main antihero of our job (aside from faulty chip design). Since we work with strict deadlines per chip, we can't afford to have some unproductive time. To rectify this, we need to communicate with the client and ask for changes to the indication. Waiting is the next step, we need to wait until they have sent these indications by ftp so we could proceed with our measurements.

That, among other problems, makes our job easy. In theory, if you just follow the indications, then it is good to go. Makes us quite look like operators, don't we? But it is more than that. 99% of the time, just following the indications won't give you the expected results. You need to employ the technicques in measurement from the college days. What a throwback.

So that's it. That is what we mostly do, not to mention other things like circuit simulation, report making, et cetera et cetera.

Sometimes, it feels good to know that rhe product you are testing is going to be inside one of those smartphones, cars or laptops. But a greater portion of my job stresses me now than it enlightens me. There are just reasons reasons reasons, I digress.

So the next time someone asks me that question again, I hope I could easily give a workable answer. Let this blog be.

Puso

When I hear them say, "May puso ang laban nila," what does it really mean?

Being a big Red Warrior follower (well, not really that long, just when I got in college), I always try to read articles or watch games of our school's UAAP flagship sports team. Our school paper, The Dawn, usually has writers that are hardcore Red Warrior fans that mostly, their personal columns would contain post game analysis and what-not.

Well, being in a red school, myriads of things that are red in color are often used to make a play of words or to describe anything in the university. These writers, choose heart.

I wondered if 'heart' was just used because we all know it is red in color. Or if it is a metaphor, I couldn't see why.

That was when I was not yet 'into' it.

I remember one line, "Kahit hindi tayo nanalo, lumaban naman tayong punong puno ng puso." Oh, that line again. What does it mean, really?

For all the times I encountered it, I came to associate 'puso' with passion and one hundred percent. Never giving up. Not losing the will to fight despite an opponent's supremacy. Proving the worth of that red shirt. Wearing it out loud. Hindi sumusuko. PUSO.

I wouldn't deny that there were games absent this embodiment. But there were more games that I watched, that made me feel proud even if it was a loss. Games when I felt, the Warriors were at a hundred percent and over. Those games gave me goosebumps, sugar rush, heightened senses. And when I remember those times, I always smile and miss them. I could shell out anything just to witness it again.

The last two games of the Warriors were the games that I wish I had seen live. I even had prophetic tweets about these then-future laurels. Not only because those were wins, but because the determination to win and fight back were so strong. Coming from losses, they had more reasons to step up and perform at their peaks. Simply thinking of the rush makes me feel giddy: It is all I need now that I'm not motivated with my job at all.

Blame it on too much negativity around the office, or of the company's unwillingness to give back to us who contributes most to our division's income. Here, I can say that I have no heart to perform at my best. But had I watched the games, I would've had enough reasons to feel good and think less of the factors that deject me at work.

Now, the one thing that I want is to feel that 'heart' again. Every beat, every single reverberation of that wave. Because when I do, I might outdo myself. I might have more reasons to see every positive thing there is left to consider.

I may be alive, again.

#CongratsUE
#GoFightRedAndWhite
#ProudWarrior

What a Friday

Bakit tuwing Friday eh parang lahat ng tao umuuwi galing sa trabaho. I mean, as in! Yung parang yung buong workforce talaga, lalo na dyan sa Ortigas! Dun lang ba sila natutulog as office nila kaya maluwag tuwing Tuesday, Wednesday at Thursday? At biglang inrush ng tao kapag uwian ng Friday?

Biglang nagpapa-OT si boss sa team kanina. Yung may mga urgent jobs daw dapat mai-OT sa weekends. Nakakapagtaka lang na bigla siyang namimilit. Since ako lang ang hindi urgent ang job, ako lang ang hindi mag-oOT. Nakakaguilty kaya.

Literally wala akong nagawa sa job ko kahapon. Nag-remeasure lang ng Load Regulation kasi OC ako na pangit yung response niya talaga sa cold temp.

Nagpalibre kami kay Jay ng pizza at kinagat niya naman. Hahaha! Oks lang mayaman naman yun, Lasallista eh. tsaka it's his birthday naman.

Wala na kaming DS Evaluation Common Mistakes training. Napalitan na ng Solution Sharing. Actually TV meeting na rin kasi nanonood sila Horibe-san at Murakami-san from Yokohama. Okay naman siya.. Kaso lang yung mga unang topics lang siguro masyadong madali. I mean kung engineer ka, dapat common sense na siya.

Lunch time usapan about office loveteams (at ex-loveteams na ang iba ay sobrang shocking) and sweldo ng mga GL.

May iniinvestigate ako na negative effect ng electronic load sa Load Regulation measurement. Medyo madugo siya at talagang napasubo pa ako kasi nagsuggest pa ng ibang setup si boss. Para daw maging 'conclusive'. Haha. Kung di ko na sana sinabi na may effect.

Si Sir Gilbert (ang diyos ng Simulation sa ROHM Philippines LOL) pinapa-simulate yung dating job ko pero cforce ang gagamitin. Ipaparerun lang daw. Medyo di naman demanding, nakasetup na kasi yun sa ginawa ko dati, pero di ko napasa sa queue lahat. So, di ako nag-shutdown ng PC.

Naguguluhan ako sa boss ko. Parang ang bait niya sakin at ako naman naguguilty na wala naman talaga akong matinong output for three days now. I mean, sa emails kasi pag kausap niya yung iba kong groupmates parang ang mga sagot niya eh 'ok', 'please compensate for this', 'we can't afford to be delayed'. Sakin, may 'thank you Josh for that information'. Meron pang 'thanks for being always on time with your jobs'. Diba? Nakakaguilty.

Nagbabasa ako ng tweets habang nasa job. Tapos nabasa ko yung tweet ni Cesca Litton na di daw siya mapakali kapag may outstanding balance sya sa credit card niya at babayaran nya agad. OC daw ba yun. Feeling ko ganun din ako sa bills na ako ang in charge. Sabi naman nung seatmate ko na si Joem, paranoia daw. Wth.

Nakaloop na forever ang 'You Never Fail' sa phone ko.

Six PM na ko umuwi kahit ala naman talaga akong ginawa after 5:30. Tumambay lang.

I feel so guilty na wala akong nagawa kahapon. Yes, sa dami ng mga yan, feeling ko wala parin akong nagawa.

Street Geek

Early today I forgot to pray (note, Pastor's preaching last Sunday was 'Pray without ceasing') but I let off a positive mantra: God gave me another life, I should be happier than yesterday.

It was over Facebook that I learned of the benefit of having a positive thought first thing in the morning. The FB friend said that it would change my outlook for the rest of the day.

Knowing that over the past weeks (months, really) I've been hating my job more than anything else, I gave it a try.

Well, for a start, I was last on a queue of 60 people for an FX ride to work. I was worrying that I'd be late even if it was just 7:08 in the morning, so I texted my boss about the situation. He didn't reply. Prior to that text, I have asked him several favors for my attendance. My attendance sheet over the past weeks (months, really) didn't really look that good. Last month, I had 7 No Good (NG) lates and 1 OK late. 3 NG lates after 4 NGs means 11 days of suspension which could be divided per payroll. I already served a day of that suspension and I'm telling you, the payslip looked ugly.

This payroll, I have 4 NG lates already. The fifth and sixth ones were OK, and those were the favors that I asked of the GL. So.. I needed to get to work on time because he didn't reply. Thankfully, I arrived at work around 8:00:43 which isn't bad.

At work, everything was smooth except for my eyesight. It was cloudy whenever I view things from two feet and nearer. I believe that together with it, a certain clingy headache affected me. I couldn't work well after lunch break. I told Joem and Tin (left and right staff area mates) that I was not on the mood to measure. I didn't feel really well with that headache and cloudy eyesight. Tin suggested that I have my eyes checked and maybe I needed a street geek eyeglass. Koreans, eh?

Well that was technically it. My productivity was around 47% by rough guesstimate and I need to recuperate to finish by the job's deadline, Friday.

So I need to visit an opthalmologist soon. I guess I'd really have to wear glasses already. I feel sad about that. I've always been proud of my eyesight. Or maybe this thing is just temporary. Like I'd get better tomorrow. I'm actually struggling with this post as I look at my phone. I hope a good 8-hour rest will do the trick. I do hope.

By the way, congrats Red Warriors. That was a nice game. Punong puno ng puso ang laban. Great game too, Ateneo. I know we both are struggling with a rookie team. But we'll get by.

#YouNeverFail
#ThankYouJesus

Authority

I was always afraid of authority. I'm afraid of taking charge, of stepping up and being faux superior -- because I'm self-centric and I know I will pop up and would be eaten wholly by that attempt's demise.

I never wanted to impose. But my training roots early, with me being the eldest and taking up the family's man's post while my dad is away. There was always a need for me to impose.

Confining the authority is somehow difficult, almost ridiculous. When caught among people with divided intents, I tend to assume some sort of office. My nerves require me to lead. Like I couldn't help it.

There is something in power, we all know that, that makes people crave for it, possess it. Being the authority in one endeavor gives a sense of accomplishment along with inflated egos and boosted confidence levels. It is a sugar rush.

However, I'm not easily drawn by that rush. Rather, a certain fear manifests somewhere that keeps me down. This fear might be failure or the one to be blamed for failures. Either way, those make me not long for the pull. It is purely logical. I was born to be somehow logical (oh, look at that engineering degree over there, that breaks down into a lot of mathematical logic) which makes things overly and repeatedly complicated. There is a part of me who self-checks, everytime! Another part though is carefree.

At work, I now gained a certain authority, which makes me part responsible for everything that could happen. It means I must vouch for the wrongs that the people I'm controlling could and would do. To me, doing this on top of my scheduled jobs makes me a little less productive.

But that could be for now. The uncertainty of things, the what-ifs, the possibility of a future success: these are the things that keep me wanting that power. Even if authority could make my knees wobble, I would still take it. I will try to harness it, master it, because I know someday, it will inevitably be the way for me. I just know.

Perspectives

Where must I view it from? On the sad ending? Or on the clean slated beginning?

Today my is Group Leader's (GL) last day at work. He resigned over a month ago for still unknown reasons. I and my groupmates felt not only betrayed; we also felt less important to deserve this announcement, and in detail.

The first time I heard of this news was from my friend from another group. At first I was skeptical because it wasn't the first time that our GL filed his resignation. She also told me that a reorganization of groups would follow his resignation. I couldn't decide which was more dreadful: the reorganization or the fact that other groups were more aware of this truth than us.

Since I was deployed after three months of rigorous training, I've come to love whatever there was in our group. The imperfections, the lack of breaktime bondings, after work group activities, or the oddity of my GL. I despised him even before I got in his group. He was infamous for his behavior. He doesn't have that much friends but eventually we got along. Maybe because I pitied him due to the things that people say at his back. I learned how to belong, how to make the most out of our situation.

Our group dissolves after tomorrow. No more LV1V3G. I used to envy other groups for their ties of friendship that developed over the months. But it is only now that I understood how much I wanted our group to reach a certain form of unity. It hurts to see us go away, apart from each other.

It may be a sad ending, but the positive part is the tabula rasa. Our mistakes, shortcomings and unprofessionalism will be reset when we move to the other groups. It sounds good in theory, but in reality, it is another adjustment to make. I think I'm afraid of the expectations. I'm afraid of doing anything wrong. I'm afraid of losing the closeness to my groupmates that was starting to materialize. I'm afraid of being alone.

*

I remember when I was a college freshman, we had a drawing class. Our lesson for that day was Perspectives. Common perspectives include single point perspective and two point perspective.

The difference is the vanishing point, as the perspevtive names suggest. Vanishing point is like the point across the eye which denotes infinity. A vanishing point must be chosen correctly to show the whole perspective of a figure, because it will be a reference throughout the whole drawing. Seeing it wrong from a different vanishing point might result to an unidentifiable drawing, ergo, junk. All corners are projected to the vanishing point so it is important to choose it wisely.

*

I see this now as a two point perspective. It's just that, I need to choose wisely. I need to have a motivation to work harder. In as much as I already feel stressed in the job, I need to keep it. I've too many pledges and commitments that would need the money that I'm getting at work. I'm choosing wisely, so I'll hold on to the both of these perspectives.

posted from Bloggeroid

Why I Considered Nancy Binay

Hours before the midterm elections, I was heavily thinking about who to shade on that long sheet of paper. There were several names that I've had no doubts on, and one of them is Nancy Binay.

I totally don't understand why some people whine about her not deserving the spot in any way. Look who's talking? Did you even know PNoy before his early President-apparent status? Actually, they got the same credentials: popular parents, and it's just the same with every other political clan.

Unfortunately, she was 13th on my list. Not only in itself is the number unlucky, it would also cost me all the 12 rightful candidates. Hell no! Oh, I think she's the 24th. Yes, she was. LOL

Honestly after hearing all these things that UNA said about Nancy's campaign strategies, it didn't waver me from my stand. She doesn't deserve a seat in the Senate. When even a child is asked what he wants when he grows up then answers, she who had more ability in speech (or not?) didn't even let us know what she had in mind. It feels like we were stolen. We elected someone who can't even explain what she'd do for the betterment of the country.

It is sad to see our nation drop to this low, considering that the youth had more say in this with a greater percentage versus the total number of voters. What happened, Philippines? Didn't you use your 'Coco-te'? 

Blame it on ignorance, perhaps? According to my friend's research, 7 out of 10 Filipinos don't have access to the internet. It is therefore us who had the bandwidth to be blamed for the uneducated, unresearched portion of our population who elected not only my subject, but also other people who didn't deserve that senate seat. Really? What if they've researched, and found her credentials sufficient?

Well even if I doubt, we could easily erase that possibilty. Our mentality always brought us back to the Spanish era, where we worshipped anyone who's got more fortune and fame. Illustrados. We always tend to jump over the bandwagon and can't be independent of our judgments. There lies the root of the problem.

Poverty is the major source of misinformation and uneducation. This goes to show, using the number of votes, that it is directly proportional to the poverty level in our country. Poverty is a veil: it makes the canned goods, few kilos of rice, and several hundred bills with sample ballots look like much. When over the veil, it could only be an imagination, a vision.

When it may be true that our economic anchors have reached depths deeper than before, it appears that it only made the rich richer, and the poor, poorer. Another sad fact.

We could only wish for that day, when we already know how to stand by our choices and make a difference for our country. We need true leaders, not people to fill up our ballots just because we didn't know who the hell the rest were. It is a collective effort of information dissemination for the rich and thorough research for the needy. Not just because the person got a famous name.

Yet Another Cycle

Around this time last year, I and my boardmates woke up around 11am. Maybe all the stresses of the review and whatnot pushed our physical limits, mental just the same to a long sleep which was just one of the consolations to the epic two days before that.

We had lunch at one of the good short order houses around UST. It was more than food. It was comfort.

Our brains were probably drained. We did nothing but watch American TV series and catch up on the fun that we set aside while reviewing.

Fast forward to a year, I almost don't know now how to start writing. Work eats up a big portion of my time and sanity.

While most of us (batchmates, boardmates) are so digged on our jobs I just realized how long such a year turned out to be. Many things happened. Most, changed my life.

While, modesty aside, I'm lucky enough that my career is going to the path that I wanted it to be, I'm starting to derail from it. I still think that I haven't achieved anything exceptional.

I see my high school classmate narrate events on a news program, she is a reporter for a local TV channel. Another high school classmate works in a popular newspaper and has his own editorial and columns weekly. Another high school classmate flies back and forth because her boss is one of the biggest politicians in our country. Another classmate now manages her own franchise of a popular coffee shop. And who knows? Another high school classmate might be building that big condominum as contracted by a huge chain of malls. Another high school classmate becoming a district counselor. Another high school classmate working in the search engine.

I feel smaller than I am. I'm starting to think that this is not the thing that I really wanted. If I only pursued the things ideal for me...

Well I didn't write this to become a constant remider of my underachievement. This post is the starter. This must fuel me. This year must be my year. I'm gonna be a part of their roster eventually.

Halfway down this post I lost my train of thought. I thought too much. Well, being smart doesn't really bring you there. I know what is common to them. They had the passion for the things they do. They don't see work as work.

As opposed to what I am.