I'm Transitioning

In a few, I'll hit 24. Exactly this day a year ago, the Metro was devastated by heavy rains absent a typhoon. Almost everyone was more than flood swept. Luckily, our family survived those testing times. I felt very blessed that day.

Now that I'm turning 24, I'd like to think that the same blessing is with me. But I'm making things sure. I'm planning the things that are ahead of me. I'm beginning to become socially relevant, a thing that I've been of less concern over the past years.

I start drawing virtual maps of my connections and where these connections will bring me. Investments feel like they're becoming a vital part of my future endeavors. The feeling of having a savings account is always a relief more than a budget-eating portion. My life for the next six years already has allotments: There is no room for unplanned events or unmanaged risks.

Speaking of risks, I think this is the perfect time for me to take risks. Risk is inevitable. That's the reason why we had a subject back in college called Risk Management. I think there are only two kinds of risks -- the one you can handle and the one you can't. Let us say that since I've prepared for this season of my life years ago, the risks that will challenge me are only those that I feel I can handle. I just have a good feeling about it.

Spiritually speaking, people in the church, in these scientist pools, environmentalists, they say this is the end time. Somehow, this has affected my plans. Instead of focusing on my long term plans, I start breaking down things into priority. I guess maturity also plays a role here. This time, I have to focus on what's near me, what's gonna make or break me. This essentially breaks down my plans into small units but planning them to be additive to one another makes it appear to be a bigger achievement over time. Again, it all boils down to planning.

Just thinking of my plans gets me excited. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way. Some people are afraid of the future. But I guess only people who haven't prepared for it are the real subjects of failure. I'd like to think I'm not one of them. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

Perhaps one of the things that I'm looking forward to is the incarnation of my plans to life. I can sense my future laurels, yet I try not to be overcome by confidence. I can't wait, while they say patience is a virtue.

Modesty aside, I feel proud of myself. For the past year I've done things in my life, but none of them I regret. I made tough decisions not only for me, my job and family, but also for other people I care about. Seeing these decisions pay off makes me feel vindicated, gratified.

Now, looking at how long I've written, I can't help but feel that, I'm becoming a different person. Or maybe, I've evolved to someone that I always thought I'd not become. I was a happy-go-lucky type of student in college. That's one of the reasons why planning, for me, is a great feat, a great deal. It is an indicator of my readiness to face whatever lies ahead.

This version of me is shaped by my experiences, bad and good alike. It took twenty-four years in the brewing. I'm changing. I'm transitioning... into a vampire responsible individual.

What a Friday

Bakit tuwing Friday eh parang lahat ng tao umuuwi galing sa trabaho. I mean, as in! Yung parang yung buong workforce talaga, lalo na dyan sa Ortigas! Dun lang ba sila natutulog as office nila kaya maluwag tuwing Tuesday, Wednesday at Thursday? At biglang inrush ng tao kapag uwian ng Friday?

Biglang nagpapa-OT si boss sa team kanina. Yung may mga urgent jobs daw dapat mai-OT sa weekends. Nakakapagtaka lang na bigla siyang namimilit. Since ako lang ang hindi urgent ang job, ako lang ang hindi mag-oOT. Nakakaguilty kaya.

Literally wala akong nagawa sa job ko kahapon. Nag-remeasure lang ng Load Regulation kasi OC ako na pangit yung response niya talaga sa cold temp.

Nagpalibre kami kay Jay ng pizza at kinagat niya naman. Hahaha! Oks lang mayaman naman yun, Lasallista eh. tsaka it's his birthday naman.

Wala na kaming DS Evaluation Common Mistakes training. Napalitan na ng Solution Sharing. Actually TV meeting na rin kasi nanonood sila Horibe-san at Murakami-san from Yokohama. Okay naman siya.. Kaso lang yung mga unang topics lang siguro masyadong madali. I mean kung engineer ka, dapat common sense na siya.

Lunch time usapan about office loveteams (at ex-loveteams na ang iba ay sobrang shocking) and sweldo ng mga GL.

May iniinvestigate ako na negative effect ng electronic load sa Load Regulation measurement. Medyo madugo siya at talagang napasubo pa ako kasi nagsuggest pa ng ibang setup si boss. Para daw maging 'conclusive'. Haha. Kung di ko na sana sinabi na may effect.

Si Sir Gilbert (ang diyos ng Simulation sa ROHM Philippines LOL) pinapa-simulate yung dating job ko pero cforce ang gagamitin. Ipaparerun lang daw. Medyo di naman demanding, nakasetup na kasi yun sa ginawa ko dati, pero di ko napasa sa queue lahat. So, di ako nag-shutdown ng PC.

Naguguluhan ako sa boss ko. Parang ang bait niya sakin at ako naman naguguilty na wala naman talaga akong matinong output for three days now. I mean, sa emails kasi pag kausap niya yung iba kong groupmates parang ang mga sagot niya eh 'ok', 'please compensate for this', 'we can't afford to be delayed'. Sakin, may 'thank you Josh for that information'. Meron pang 'thanks for being always on time with your jobs'. Diba? Nakakaguilty.

Nagbabasa ako ng tweets habang nasa job. Tapos nabasa ko yung tweet ni Cesca Litton na di daw siya mapakali kapag may outstanding balance sya sa credit card niya at babayaran nya agad. OC daw ba yun. Feeling ko ganun din ako sa bills na ako ang in charge. Sabi naman nung seatmate ko na si Joem, paranoia daw. Wth.

Nakaloop na forever ang 'You Never Fail' sa phone ko.

Six PM na ko umuwi kahit ala naman talaga akong ginawa after 5:30. Tumambay lang.

I feel so guilty na wala akong nagawa kahapon. Yes, sa dami ng mga yan, feeling ko wala parin akong nagawa.