Magi Gifts Series: Gold

I would like to enlighten some people about the spiritual connotations of the gifts of the wise men to our Lord the day he was born. Though it was not stated in the Bible who the wise men were (nor how many they were), the number of gifts given to the newborn baby was enough to judge that there were three.

Further readings will tell us some speculations about where the magi came from, but what we want to know now is more of the gifts and the symbolisms that they represent.

Gold

Gold is the most precious metal known to men by that time. Therefore, for a person to receive gold, he must be a royal of sort to deserve it.

Gold represents Jesus' deity. The wise man knew that the baby was a king. They probably studied it in their ancient scrolls or by fate, from the writings of the Old Testament which might have reached the East.

The gold was a representation of the power that Jesus held in his hands. He is, after all, the king of kings and the lord of lords. He was as precious as the gold that was given to him. He had the authority to all the believers at the time, but it was still a potential until he reached the age of 12.

Some people say that this gift was used by both Mary and Joseph to travel as far from king Herod. They never had any resource to fend for themselves right after fleeing their comfort zones, so it was a logical answer to where the gold went.

Happy Holidays!

Subconcious Affairs 1

The train leaves at nine.

The old friend helps me get my things on board. We've been doing this for a long time now. He sees me go, then I get back the next year. I don't treat the people I hire in a lower state. I call them friends.

For the past ten years of my life, I board that very same train at the very same time to go to my rest house. I had it made for me and with the help of an old friend, the house is kept pristine whenever I get to it.

When I was younger, I used to invest in a lot of risky involvements but I was always lucky.. I dunno. I always win more money than anyone expects. I got rich easily. However, due to some unfornate turn of events, members of my family passed. It's as if with every fortune that I make, I lose a more important one.

It sucks to feel that burden in your heart, even if other people console me, trying to make me feel better. None of them makes me feel better. I hate myself for gaining much than I could handle. I hate myself just because of my mere existence. I hate myself for everything.

I got more time than anyone in the world. My clock starts at 0000 and ends at 2500. People say I'm lucky, but everytime I board that train, I always feel the emptiness. A hollow space in my faintly thudding heart seems to mask my whole existence. Everytime I get off that platform, I wish they were just on the other side, waiting for me.

But no one is there. There will be not a soul.

"Buddy, you need to go. The train leaves at nine."

Wedges of Time

Hey buddy. Walked out on you for a while. Writing may have been 'therapeutic' for me but some stresses often hold me back from reaching that keyboard.

Anyways.

After my birthday, the family went on to the scheduled Boracay trip. It was a first of sorts: first plane ride, first getaway to that island, first travel that more than half I paid for (it sure hurt a lot) and my first time outside Luzon in 12 years. Yeah, it was that long. It was also memorable.

Sure, four days of leave from work would mean piles of to-dos. My body never left vacation though.. I tried my best to be at my best work mode but holidays a week after and the inclement weather were not cooperative. Actually, it took me a month to recover from my laidback attitude.

My absences ballooned and my tardiness followed. I was so thankful for having a boss who was just content with a reason for formality's sake. I mean I can't really just file that leave and put laziness in the reason. He never questioned my shortcomings where I'm beginning to think, he doesn't really care about me. Oh, fine by me. I could leave the company without worrying about his attrition and all that corporate shmuck.

So.. what's the deal anyway, Josh?

Hmm. I wouldn't like to say that it is the same old because it ain't. I'm so into my phone that I almost leave my social life past me and dig into my unlimited 4G connection. However, my workmate Sham introduced me to the Number Four series and until now I'm stuck in the second book that he lent me because of guess what? Yeah, you're probably right.

I know my answer was more than insubstantial so I'll explain further.

Lately I've been feeling like I'm going into my old ways of introversion. Trying to keep myself in the shadows, making less attention than usual. I feel that it is because there are several insecurities which still lie around the corner. Perhaps that very first is my communication with my friends. Most of the time, I don't communicate with them. It's either I need something from them or it is a special event that I feel the need to talk to them. Maybe because I just feel that eventually we'll run out of things to discuss that we'd end up silently with anyone of us not replying further. Then it becomes a vicious cycle. That is my lack of being-the-interesting-kind kind of guy.

To complement with that is the fact that I'm still single. I'm starting to think that courting may have outgrown me but it seems that my standards are really higher than high. I have crushes, yes, but all of them are sort of celebrities. Which sucks. Will I ever lay my eyes on a normal person again? Dunno. So maybe I'll still be single for a longer time.

Third, I want to resurface months later, reborn. That kind when you see your old friends, you'd hear nothing but "parang hindi na ikaw!" in a positive skew of course.

Or. I just want to be alone. Feel the structuring of the earth unfold in front of me. Watch the mysteries of life unfurl like depth of field widening from a shallow beginning.

Well maybe that's it. Everything is starting to bore me. My life, my work, my environment. I seriously need a hobby. Or a social group. Or an initiation? That's scary lol.

I'll think about it. I'll straighten my crooked thinking. I've wasted too much time already. I need to feel alive again.

I'm Transitioning

In a few, I'll hit 24. Exactly this day a year ago, the Metro was devastated by heavy rains absent a typhoon. Almost everyone was more than flood swept. Luckily, our family survived those testing times. I felt very blessed that day.

Now that I'm turning 24, I'd like to think that the same blessing is with me. But I'm making things sure. I'm planning the things that are ahead of me. I'm beginning to become socially relevant, a thing that I've been of less concern over the past years.

I start drawing virtual maps of my connections and where these connections will bring me. Investments feel like they're becoming a vital part of my future endeavors. The feeling of having a savings account is always a relief more than a budget-eating portion. My life for the next six years already has allotments: There is no room for unplanned events or unmanaged risks.

Speaking of risks, I think this is the perfect time for me to take risks. Risk is inevitable. That's the reason why we had a subject back in college called Risk Management. I think there are only two kinds of risks -- the one you can handle and the one you can't. Let us say that since I've prepared for this season of my life years ago, the risks that will challenge me are only those that I feel I can handle. I just have a good feeling about it.

Spiritually speaking, people in the church, in these scientist pools, environmentalists, they say this is the end time. Somehow, this has affected my plans. Instead of focusing on my long term plans, I start breaking down things into priority. I guess maturity also plays a role here. This time, I have to focus on what's near me, what's gonna make or break me. This essentially breaks down my plans into small units but planning them to be additive to one another makes it appear to be a bigger achievement over time. Again, it all boils down to planning.

Just thinking of my plans gets me excited. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way. Some people are afraid of the future. But I guess only people who haven't prepared for it are the real subjects of failure. I'd like to think I'm not one of them. Failing to plan is planning to fail.

Perhaps one of the things that I'm looking forward to is the incarnation of my plans to life. I can sense my future laurels, yet I try not to be overcome by confidence. I can't wait, while they say patience is a virtue.

Modesty aside, I feel proud of myself. For the past year I've done things in my life, but none of them I regret. I made tough decisions not only for me, my job and family, but also for other people I care about. Seeing these decisions pay off makes me feel vindicated, gratified.

Now, looking at how long I've written, I can't help but feel that, I'm becoming a different person. Or maybe, I've evolved to someone that I always thought I'd not become. I was a happy-go-lucky type of student in college. That's one of the reasons why planning, for me, is a great feat, a great deal. It is an indicator of my readiness to face whatever lies ahead.

This version of me is shaped by my experiences, bad and good alike. It took twenty-four years in the brewing. I'm changing. I'm transitioning... into a vampire responsible individual.

What's your job?

Many times, people ask me, what's your job? I answer, I'm an electronics engineer. When they probe further, I say I'm a Design Verification Engineer in a Japanese semiconductor company.

The moment I end my sentence is the same moment they realize that they shouldn't have asked. They will look astonished, none any less than bewildered.

I will start explaining it here in detail; Unlike in real conversations, I keep it a short description to engage them. If they are interested enough, they will ask questions and I will feed smaller information yet just as crucial for their understanding.

Primarily, my work is to test chips (Integrated Circuits, ICs). These chips could either be on its development stage, improved versions of previous developments, or final packages which would be sold to the clients/market. We test chips with different technologies: motor drivers, LED/LCD drivers, reset ICs, power management ICs, linear/switching regulators, among others.

There are several ways to test a chip, and we do it manually. When I say manually, we have a test board with the chip mounted on it, and we connect supply voltages or currents through wires from the equipment. We have a laboratory where there are loads of different kinds of instruments, and a thermostreamer which could emit air from -80°C up to 220°C. Another way of testing is with the use of machinery. This ain't our job.

Since we do things manually, it is expected that as engineers, we will be able to measure the expected results from different parameters. These parameters could be as simple as output voltage or as bizzare as output noise. We need to know which instrument will be used for which. We also need to perform a simple debug if the indications from our Japanese clients will not give any result.

Indications are the procedures for obtaining the correct and expected result for a parameter. A wrong indication is the main antihero of our job (aside from faulty chip design). Since we work with strict deadlines per chip, we can't afford to have some unproductive time. To rectify this, we need to communicate with the client and ask for changes to the indication. Waiting is the next step, we need to wait until they have sent these indications by ftp so we could proceed with our measurements.

That, among other problems, makes our job easy. In theory, if you just follow the indications, then it is good to go. Makes us quite look like operators, don't we? But it is more than that. 99% of the time, just following the indications won't give you the expected results. You need to employ the technicques in measurement from the college days. What a throwback.

So that's it. That is what we mostly do, not to mention other things like circuit simulation, report making, et cetera et cetera.

Sometimes, it feels good to know that rhe product you are testing is going to be inside one of those smartphones, cars or laptops. But a greater portion of my job stresses me now than it enlightens me. There are just reasons reasons reasons, I digress.

So the next time someone asks me that question again, I hope I could easily give a workable answer. Let this blog be.