Of Trials

The past weeks have been rough for me and for our family. Without me in the house, the are things that I've missed in the circulation. These things bother me on a large scale. Expletives may do, but I need an outlet. Let this blog be.

Two weeks ago, I suffered a great cut on resources. The money that I received from my last scholarship was already depleted. The relationship that I have with my mom in financial terms is somewhat mature and were mutual to that. What I'm trying to say is that when I have money, it is my money and I continually receive something from her, me being on an unemployed state. She is neither employed. She told me that my dad hasn't been calling her and sending money for more than a couple of months now. II don't know which is worse: the fact that my father doesn't call us or the fact that his remittance is our family's only financial source at the moment.

Bills unpaid, gas out, no food. My mom may still have the contacts of her clients but her not having an office gave them trust issues. She and her business partner are brewing something, I don't know, I hope they finally achieve their plan. Since my mom and I have the mutual understanding on things, we divide the present amount that we have and we both do our best to extend the budget.

Good thing. I've loaned some amount to several people. From 1 grand a week, I was down to 500, which, I need to divide for six days including the transpo allowance when going to the dormitory from our house (and back). Five hundred alone is not enough, honestly. My classmates were at least able to relieve me of this financial pressure due to their repayments.

Apart from the week's allowance, I also have to allot something for the processing of papers for the board exam. There is some 2K-ish that I still need to gather and I pray, with God's grace, that this amount will be settled in no time, since the deadline for submission of the papers is about to end.

Next, it is kind of depressing to see my sister, the one after me, give me so much time to her boyfriend. She's skipping church activities because she visits the guy's parent in Laguna on weekends. Weekends, I'm home and I don't see her. I kind of miss having our family together despite these trials. Tough times, really. Makes me feel that there is some gaping hole somewhere..

**edit: Sister's not getting back anymore. She married that effin guy because she's pregnant. The hell. Added to my problems.. But my mom's discretion on it makes me accept it, since there is nothing more we can do about it.**

There are newly formed esteem issues introduced by the review sessions. Most of the time, I already feel that I'm not doing well enough, so I tend to slouch. This may be good because it should make me strive harder but the percentages are far apart. The issues must be set aside because the boards are nearing (roughly a month left). I wish that I'd be drugged with adrenaline.

Last: friendship issues. Some of my friends understand that the reason why I'm not very active over leisure walks is because I'm trying to focus on the review. Some are acting up, others even think I've totally forgotten them. I can't believe them. I don't want to lose the relationships but I also want to rid of complications. When I pray at night, I always ask for understanding to dawn on theses people. I always wish for everyone's wellness because on either side of the road, I'll get hurt and it will be my burden. It will hinder my success.

So I momentarily take a leave. I hope people would understand. I hope trails will be patched. I wish to put an end to differences and bad vibes. Goodbye, dark aura!

Graduation Day

Finally!

After five years and six months of academic perseverance, I've finally received the proof of my labor on the special day, December 8, 2011. It was the commencement exercises for the 13th batch of midyear graduates from the University of the East (Manila and Caloocan Campuses) held at the Plenary Hall of the Philippine International Convention Center.

This marks a milestone in my personal achievements and as this blog stands to document an engineering student's what-it-takes and how-it-makes. The commencement will take this particular development into my archives that contain the significant events which makes me a step closer to the license that I've been rooting for.

By far, the graduation that we had was the most ceremonious the University has ever had. From the baccalaureate services to the graduation day, everything was grand. For a moment, I felt that the university somehow cared for me apart from the fact that the dean in our college had his negative notes on the ECE Department, from the professors to the students. At the stage, we were forced to receive the diploma from him and pretend that we were okay. If he only knew the department's sentiments...

Albeit the long ceremony, it was still very rewarding to have your name called on the stage, for you to walk like a model on the runway and feel proud that your family is just on one section of the Hall, cheering at you, maybe feeling as happy to see you finally conquering college. I'm even prouder of myself because I was not just a graduate, but I'm a graduate of one of the toughest courses to be invented. I can tell my parents that whatever trials and shortcomings that we've altogether had in my whole college life, THAT day proved that All Is Well That Ends Well.

Sentiments may have been thrown around, naturally. That will be the last day I'll be called a student, me and my classmates will be together as a section, and maybe the last time we'll see each other for a long time. I just hope, that the next time we have a gathering, it will be the Oath Taking as a professional, as a licensed Electronics Engineer.

With all these said, I give Him all the glory, for without Him, I am nothing.

Masaya Lang Ako

Good evening 'Pinas.

Minsan hindi ko narin alam kung anong oras na ba ako dapat matulog dahil sa split off and other things.

Grabe naman kanina. I was talking to my last customer over the phone, she was from California. I was trying to establish rapport nung tinanong ko siya na 'how is the weather in the State?' then nagulat ako na wala xang konek pero nakakagimbal: 'have you heard of the earthquake?' -- malamang, hindi, nasa shift pa kaya ako. Then, apparently, nagkwento siya and all that stuff about tsunami.

Going home, tinawagan ako ni mama. Nasa Megamall na ako nun at pinapunta daw ba ako sa Rob? Okay. Kasama ung mga wavemates ko, nilakad namin papuntang Edsa, sila sa MRT ako sa bus stop. Sa sobrang ka-utakan ko talaga, sumakay ako ng SM Fairview na bus para sana free ride papuntang Rob, since dun naman naniningil ung kundoktor. Para makababa ako, idadahilan ko na SM North un at akala ko SM ung sinakyan ko. Ampf. Pagdating sa Rob diretso ba naman siya sa tulay. Then naniningil na yung kundoktor. Magdadahilan pa sana ako or papara but too late, nakababa na ng tulay nung sinisingil na ako. Sabi ko na lang Cubao.

To cut the long misadventure short, nakarating din ako ng Rob. Namili ng stuff and dined out sa Kenny. Buti dala ko yung iPod Touch at may free Wifi access kasi dun. Kinwento ko kay mama ung event and she told me na affected din pala halos lahat ng shores natin dito na nakaharap sa Pacific.

God! So katakot. May tsunami daw. I wasn't really updated kung nangyari nga.

Ayun lang. Restday ko bukas. Sana maging productive. Good night na rin.

Thank God I'm still alive.