The Choice

Present time gives me countless opportunities. It is now my turn to deliberate which will be hailed worthy as The Choice.

Not that I'm disliking the current job, but I have assessed all the avenues which must be calculated. I've asked for signs, intervention. Considerations accounted, I've reached to the conclusion: In approximately two weeks from now, I'll be moving to a new job --still, in line with my profession --  the very Choice that I've made.

Having reached barely two months in this work, I can say that Telecommunications is a good ground to start on. I've learned a lot; I may already boastfully tell that I'm an expert of cell site analysis.

However, my mind wants to look for more mental challenges. This industry gives me none of these challenges. Cell sites have several types and they repeat all though out the stretch. Most of the things to be done are on a pattern. Maybe, I've not been on the technical side yet (computations, engineering judgment). I can wait no longer.

Apart from mental challenges, I also seek for better compensation. My movement to Electronics Design gives me promise of career growth and, more moolah. With the status of our family, I think this is not only the better but the best choice. The new job, according to the Director of the department who interviewed me, is one filled with neuron stimulation and is second to the hardest job in the company. That said, my eyes turned red and light bulbs flashed on my head.

Despite the method they devised to get me (read: piracy), I feel naturalized to the blood and sands of my new professional home. The counter-offering of my present company was tempting: a raised job status. However, I've made a choice, and I hope to find reasons to stay in this industry even after the bond that I've signed with them.

I pray, that this is it.

Post-Board Exam Brooding

I know this isn’t the right time to brood over why I didn’t spend the whole review time properly, or what else I didn’t do to maximize the short period for the exam preparation.

Today starts the longest five days of my life, which is waiting for the results of the two-day board exam.

When I backtrack: Math was difficult; Electronics was my saving grace; GEAS (General Engineering and Applied Sciences) was cruelly hard; and, ESAT (Electronic Systems and Technologies) was a bit rewarding.

However, there’s still a huge uncertainty. I’ve had hard experiences on the exam day itself which may have affected my way of thinking, my memory, my logic. In good hope and with His help, waiting can be less bothering.

(a repost with few revisions from my Tumblr)

Of Trials

The past weeks have been rough for me and for our family. Without me in the house, the are things that I've missed in the circulation. These things bother me on a large scale. Expletives may do, but I need an outlet. Let this blog be.

Two weeks ago, I suffered a great cut on resources. The money that I received from my last scholarship was already depleted. The relationship that I have with my mom in financial terms is somewhat mature and were mutual to that. What I'm trying to say is that when I have money, it is my money and I continually receive something from her, me being on an unemployed state. She is neither employed. She told me that my dad hasn't been calling her and sending money for more than a couple of months now. II don't know which is worse: the fact that my father doesn't call us or the fact that his remittance is our family's only financial source at the moment.

Bills unpaid, gas out, no food. My mom may still have the contacts of her clients but her not having an office gave them trust issues. She and her business partner are brewing something, I don't know, I hope they finally achieve their plan. Since my mom and I have the mutual understanding on things, we divide the present amount that we have and we both do our best to extend the budget.

Good thing. I've loaned some amount to several people. From 1 grand a week, I was down to 500, which, I need to divide for six days including the transpo allowance when going to the dormitory from our house (and back). Five hundred alone is not enough, honestly. My classmates were at least able to relieve me of this financial pressure due to their repayments.

Apart from the week's allowance, I also have to allot something for the processing of papers for the board exam. There is some 2K-ish that I still need to gather and I pray, with God's grace, that this amount will be settled in no time, since the deadline for submission of the papers is about to end.

Next, it is kind of depressing to see my sister, the one after me, give me so much time to her boyfriend. She's skipping church activities because she visits the guy's parent in Laguna on weekends. Weekends, I'm home and I don't see her. I kind of miss having our family together despite these trials. Tough times, really. Makes me feel that there is some gaping hole somewhere..

**edit: Sister's not getting back anymore. She married that effin guy because she's pregnant. The hell. Added to my problems.. But my mom's discretion on it makes me accept it, since there is nothing more we can do about it.**

There are newly formed esteem issues introduced by the review sessions. Most of the time, I already feel that I'm not doing well enough, so I tend to slouch. This may be good because it should make me strive harder but the percentages are far apart. The issues must be set aside because the boards are nearing (roughly a month left). I wish that I'd be drugged with adrenaline.

Last: friendship issues. Some of my friends understand that the reason why I'm not very active over leisure walks is because I'm trying to focus on the review. Some are acting up, others even think I've totally forgotten them. I can't believe them. I don't want to lose the relationships but I also want to rid of complications. When I pray at night, I always ask for understanding to dawn on theses people. I always wish for everyone's wellness because on either side of the road, I'll get hurt and it will be my burden. It will hinder my success.

So I momentarily take a leave. I hope people would understand. I hope trails will be patched. I wish to put an end to differences and bad vibes. Goodbye, dark aura!

Graduation Day

Finally!

After five years and six months of academic perseverance, I've finally received the proof of my labor on the special day, December 8, 2011. It was the commencement exercises for the 13th batch of midyear graduates from the University of the East (Manila and Caloocan Campuses) held at the Plenary Hall of the Philippine International Convention Center.

This marks a milestone in my personal achievements and as this blog stands to document an engineering student's what-it-takes and how-it-makes. The commencement will take this particular development into my archives that contain the significant events which makes me a step closer to the license that I've been rooting for.

By far, the graduation that we had was the most ceremonious the University has ever had. From the baccalaureate services to the graduation day, everything was grand. For a moment, I felt that the university somehow cared for me apart from the fact that the dean in our college had his negative notes on the ECE Department, from the professors to the students. At the stage, we were forced to receive the diploma from him and pretend that we were okay. If he only knew the department's sentiments...

Albeit the long ceremony, it was still very rewarding to have your name called on the stage, for you to walk like a model on the runway and feel proud that your family is just on one section of the Hall, cheering at you, maybe feeling as happy to see you finally conquering college. I'm even prouder of myself because I was not just a graduate, but I'm a graduate of one of the toughest courses to be invented. I can tell my parents that whatever trials and shortcomings that we've altogether had in my whole college life, THAT day proved that All Is Well That Ends Well.

Sentiments may have been thrown around, naturally. That will be the last day I'll be called a student, me and my classmates will be together as a section, and maybe the last time we'll see each other for a long time. I just hope, that the next time we have a gathering, it will be the Oath Taking as a professional, as a licensed Electronics Engineer.

With all these said, I give Him all the glory, for without Him, I am nothing.

A Holiday Snip

Since today is a holiday, I'd like to snip in something just to break the momentum on reviewing too much. I'd also like to make kwento about the things that I've already finished prior to graduation, and here is a rundown.

1. The last day was technically around the last week of October.
2. After the Exit Interview, days after (around November 8) I had the photo shoot for the Graduation picture and the creative shots.
3. I furnished everything which had something to do with my grades, also things needed for my name to appear on the list of the candidates for graduation.
4. November 14: Start of the Review orientation.
5. November 16 and 18: Diagnostic Exams. Here, we were evaluated of the totality of what knowledge we accumulated in college.
6. Monday, we had the fitting for the graduation dress with the hood and the cap.
7. The official review stared Tuesday after the Diagnostic exams, this is when I learned that I luckily got the 5th top spot out of the more than 100 reviewees.
8. Thursday, after the review classes, I headed straight to the Mall of Asia to meet up with bloggers (the Leah Sayomac (ate Leah), Ate Madz, Sendo, Jeff (poipagong), the Bino Bautista, Kikilabotz the Blogger and Ms.Yvette. Okay. It was a fun meet up and I did enjoy, big time.
9. Monday, moved out of our house in Pasig to the apartment that we rented for the review located around España.
10. Filled out the form for the yearbook today.

AND, next week, December 8, is my graduation day! Yehey. After more than five years of studying (hard, lol), I'm finally setting foot to PICC and this time I'm wearing a black toga with an orange hood around my neck. Definitely another proud moment. I hope that good vibes will continue to ooze like creamy chocolate so everybody'd be happy.

But before I forget, I need to study, again, for the first evaluation exam which will be done next week, Tuesday and Wednesday. The best of luck!

Someone Wins, Someone Loses

The results of the Electronics Engineering (ECE) board exams just got released. There is good news, there is bad news.

Good news is, I have friends who passed. The bad news is, I have friends who failed. I think that these two things, surviving and failing, go hand in hand. Neither can exist without the other. Sometimes it's hard to think that the happiness can always be spoiled. Things happen that way.

Although, there is still hope. The results are partial to the passers, because the conditionals and failed students are not yet announced.

Conditional refers to a state wherein the student gets a grade between 60-70 per cent in less than 50 per cent of the total number of subjects in the exam, which is equal to one subject.

But even so, conditional or failed, it still means retaking the exam which must be a complete hassle. I can only imagine the emotional stain that my friends are undertaking right now. I mean, with all the review which yielded (almost)nothing. I can only empathize.

Well, there are passers to be celebrated, too, but the weight of the failure just feels greater than that of the win. More importantly, these results give me a shadow of what there is to come when it's my time to take the board exam this April 2012.

I could only hope for the best, with God's help.

Licensure Examinations

Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, that is 29th and 30th of October 2011, is this year's second leg of the licensure exams for the Electronics Engineering (ECE) graduates.

This particular exams is halfway close to my heart, since had I not stopped for a semester, I'd be joining the thousands tomorrow who will be taking the boards. Unfortunately, that is not the case, since I'm still awaiting graduation and there are several requirements before one is enabled to take this test.

However, it's defined as halfway close because most of the people from my batch, like my ECE batchmates in UE Manila and UE Caloocan and other high school batchmates who took the same course will be having this ultimate test starting tomorrow. That means: I'm equally as anxious, nervous, and slightly temperamental.


A great time for prayers
I know, Lord, that I have done so many wrongs in the past, but please, forgive me of my sins. With the presumed forgiveness, I also wish that you grant my ECE friends all the strength, courage, confidence and intellect that they need to muster in order for them to successfully pass this milestone of an undertaking. They cannot do this without your help, Jesus. Amen.

It's All To End, Josh

I didn't go to school today just because I didn't feel like going. What is happening with me?

In a few weeks' time, I will be graduating from college. I will be one step closer to becoming the long awaited Engineer Josh. However, just when I think I'm seeing the light at the end of my struggles, here I am, losing the vigor.

I have two floor plans, a theatrical production, an electronic circuit project, two major exams and a research work all due for submission before Friday. I think the slouch from the foundation week celebration un-fueled my spirits. I honestly can't revamp my habits right now to switch back on track.

O, inspiration, where art thou?

I wish to assuage my feelings from the better universe. God, please help me.

The Great Storekeeper

Howdy lads and lasses!

Yesterday, I took half of my day to manage the computer shop which became a part of my investment, the savings from my call boy job (kiddin').

Actually, this is the very first time that I'll be managing something. Even way back at high school or on my first three college years, I was never really assigned to perform the team/group leader most of the time. Often, I'm the assistant to the team leader or the best member, which eventually turns out to do most of the job than the leader itself.

However, in managing something, you have to take the whole responsibility and make your mind work all the time. Mind plus body plus sanity: everything puts up the formula to working it out greatly. I must admit that doing it the first time nearly made me give up on it. There were a lot of factors and a lot of detractors, not to mention the rule-breakers, gatecrashers, et cetera.

Now, I'm back here to do the job again. Until I enroll for the summer classes. I really miss school, my blockmates, the stuff we do, the experiments, the field work, the resistors, capacitors, integrated circuits, the wires, the diodes, transistors, everything! I hope to make the time faster but at the same time, make the time remaining a worthwhile one.

Good afternoon. Its hot outside.

Masaya Lang Ako

Good evening 'Pinas.

Minsan hindi ko narin alam kung anong oras na ba ako dapat matulog dahil sa split off and other things.

Grabe naman kanina. I was talking to my last customer over the phone, she was from California. I was trying to establish rapport nung tinanong ko siya na 'how is the weather in the State?' then nagulat ako na wala xang konek pero nakakagimbal: 'have you heard of the earthquake?' -- malamang, hindi, nasa shift pa kaya ako. Then, apparently, nagkwento siya and all that stuff about tsunami.

Going home, tinawagan ako ni mama. Nasa Megamall na ako nun at pinapunta daw ba ako sa Rob? Okay. Kasama ung mga wavemates ko, nilakad namin papuntang Edsa, sila sa MRT ako sa bus stop. Sa sobrang ka-utakan ko talaga, sumakay ako ng SM Fairview na bus para sana free ride papuntang Rob, since dun naman naniningil ung kundoktor. Para makababa ako, idadahilan ko na SM North un at akala ko SM ung sinakyan ko. Ampf. Pagdating sa Rob diretso ba naman siya sa tulay. Then naniningil na yung kundoktor. Magdadahilan pa sana ako or papara but too late, nakababa na ng tulay nung sinisingil na ako. Sabi ko na lang Cubao.

To cut the long misadventure short, nakarating din ako ng Rob. Namili ng stuff and dined out sa Kenny. Buti dala ko yung iPod Touch at may free Wifi access kasi dun. Kinwento ko kay mama ung event and she told me na affected din pala halos lahat ng shores natin dito na nakaharap sa Pacific.

God! So katakot. May tsunami daw. I wasn't really updated kung nangyari nga.

Ayun lang. Restday ko bukas. Sana maging productive. Good night na rin.

Thank God I'm still alive.

Week View

So far, everything is falling into good condition. I am now contented with the schedule I have. The picture you will see below is the schedule in weekly view, and you can ask me for legends. Ü But I'm quite sure you won't bother asking anymore. Haha. Just define nosebleed if ever you do. :))


I'm also qiute much done with the prologue that I was writing over the weekend. I was so unlucky that the old thing I have written is now lost, and I can't force myself to remember that write-up because it was like an all-out blast for that time. Wala na rin talaga akong maalala sa mga sinulat ko..
I have been battling over my mind whether, "isusulat ko pa ba 'to?.." or "will this be prologue-ish?.." or "maiintindihan kaya ng magbabasa?.." or "WAG KO NA LANG KAYANG ITULOY!?". Hilarious. I really pull out crappy ideas when I'm desperate.
Nothing much else happened over the weekend. I spent hours thinking what to do and yet nothing materialized. I guess I'll have to remain like that in the next couple of months, or so [which will really be disastrous!].
Nag-discuss si Engr. Austria ng mga gagawin namin sa laboratory and I have just formed the alliance with Jad, Julius and Katie! Great! I think hindi na ako mahuhuli sa experiment reports because the submission time is not 730-1030, and now, it is by twos and I have a really great partner to do it with. Diba nice? Galing ko talaga bumuo ng team! Ü
While waiting for our next subject which is Thermodynamics, I'm now on the 5th POD-CIT floor with Jad and Julius kanina. Well, sana 5pm na. Gusto ko na umuwi! And I have lots of plans pagdating sa mga lulutuin kong experimento.
Hanggang sa muli.